Love and Luck


Pain was my companion for all of January, February and March of 2015. Extreme, escalating and new types of pain brought me to the ER early April 2nd. Today, April 7th, I was cleared to order real food! If I can keep it down, I can go home later today or tomorrow. A Fentanol patch now experiments with keeping me pain free for the rest of 2015.

The week was full of gloom and doom – dire language from docs predicted a direct pathway to death. My friends and I cried a lot as we planned my burial, memorial and more.

Yesterday four liters of fluid were removed from my belly. No doctor expected that I really had ascites. I pushed for an ultrasound. With ten pounds of ascites removed, my intestines could move to their real homes. My bowels can breathe and re-inflate to do their job. I might just be back in the business of living.

Is this event a big marker on my path? Yes. But really, as always, it means I need to find a chemo that can work. I can’t stay alive with the volume of cancer I have.

So with love and luck, and hundreds of candles lit, maybe we can cheer the chemo on. Thursday I am happily re-ensconced in my chemo throne. Hoping yet realistic.

Thank you all! Love, marcy


44 responses »

  1. Marcy, you never cease to amaze me with your fortitude, determination, and strength. You are such an inspiration to me and I know to so many others. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and so hope for a chemo regimne that will work to get rid of the cancer.

    Thank you for your posts. I think of you often and it is good to hear from you.

    Hugs and prayers,

  2. Sending you strength Marcy. Not that you are not tremendously strong! But strength that comes from a sip of water, or a moment of rest in the middle of the struggle. Strength for the journey and all that you contend with. With love and respect and awe. Show us girl. Prayers for chemo and hope.

  3. Yes, we love you Marcy, even those of us who are merely virtual acquaintances. The details do matter and it is brave of you to share them. Thank you. Here’s to life!

  4. Marcy
    So good to hear you are back in business. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope for the best for you.

  5. Yes, love, luck and a whole lotta candles! I’m so glad you get to go home and eat real food! Healing energy continuing your way. You ARE a miracle. (I kinda don’t want to blow out my candle)

  6. Candle burning, prayers arising from us and from St. Luke’s Church in Waldport, and visions of you pain free with the right chemo. Sending love, luck, and strength from Jeanne & Kae

  7. Okay, sister, nothing feels better than working bowels and a warm meal. I’m going to focus on your re-gaining both today. One step at a time, so by Thursday we’ll be on to voodoo-vibing chemo. Wishing you clean sheets on your own bed and kisses from those in closest proximity. You filled up my heart with this post.

  8. You give new meaning to the phrase, “will to live.” Count me among those cheering for you, and holding you in my heart. Sending love.

  9. You are like Lazarus!! Amazing and so heartening! I did light all my candles and our writing group will light candles when we gather today. We miss you and your powerful and funny voice. much love, j

  10. Marcy.
    so glad to hear that you are more comfortable. You are in my prayers and I am sending good karma your way. Peace and comfort!

  11. Yes! Candleslight and heart prayers for your ease and healing. Who knows? Maybe your cancer cells can acquiesce to live peacefully with your other cell communities, a path to which you have guided so many other communities….. Gentle hugs. Sylvia

  12. Lighting a candle today and hoping for chemo to lighten your load.

    Marcy, you are such a powerful example of embracing the wonder of life, even when it sucks. You help me stay true and aware of 1) we are all dying, regardless of state of health, and 2) we are each a breath away from death. I have just this one, wonderful breath. Thank you for helping me live in this truth.

    Sally (Holly Pruett friend and colleague)

  13. Keep fighting Marcy. I will forever be grateful to you for showing me how to live. Thank you.
    Judy Frohman

  14. Marcy – You are in my daily thoughts and prayers and I’m lighting candles for you! You really are a badass. Sending lots of strength and will your way.

  15. I am so glad that you’re as excellent an advocate for yourself as you are for the rest of the world! Even when you’re hospitalized and in great pain you still get those doctors to do what they didn’t think needed to be done. Fantastic news that you are so much improved.
    Lee Ann

  16. Marcy, I discovered your blog today from a comment I found from you wishing me well a month ago. I’ve been reading your blog since seeing that comment, and I want you to know that I am wishing you much strength as you go through this. Thank you for sharing your journey.

  17. You are so strong and amazing Marcy. I am so glad you are able to stand up for yourself in the face of adversity and tell those doctors what to do. They DON’T know everything. I am so happy you feel better and can get on with living again. Let’s hope and pray this next chemo works for you. Love you.

  18. Marcy, I have a candle burning and again I thank you for you for sharing your journey. You are awesome! I am still learning so much form you. Sending love and wishing you luck and I hope the chemo went according to plan.

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