Sometimes there is a Shorter Straw Yet

I suspected I was reoccurring when my numbers did a jump from 13 to 20 in August but expected it would stay microscopic for awhile longer. But with my ca 125 at a mere 30 right now, I have visible cancer in lung and abdomen.  In fact, we now know that it was there in July but interpreting scans is a tough art.  So I now have recurrent metastasized epithelial ovarian cancer probably platinum resistant. Still stage iv and still grade 3 – the worst in all categories now. An odd accomplishment.

I am very fit and eat well. My 2nd opinion doc had me add in weights so I feel ready for the onslaught. But I am sad. (Especially about loosing my hair again.  And dont even dare utter some lame positive spin cos there is nothing positive about being made bald by drugs to me.  Especially when it does not even cure you.)

We are looking at radiation and surgery but chemo stays top starting priority.  (Interesting note, my friends did an international search for doxil and found it everywhere but this country, even Canada despite their stories of being impacted. So I am more confused then ever by our supply lines crisis.)  I am on a wait list for the drugs to be available.  If we can’t get them I relocate countries or take next best option – I would probably do the latter. We meet with surgeon on Monday to assess what we can cut out.

It’s bad but it was bad at diagnosis.  I started with a 10% chance of being alive in 2 years.  We just do what we can.  As my oncologist likes to note, it’s in god’s hands.  Right now I tend to agree.  But I am operational today and so off to Occupy Portland because Big Pharma + Wall Street = No Drugs and so much more.

Thanks for lighting candles that hold Mike and me in your thoughts.  I think we need them.  love, marcy

Advertisement